A Basket of Fruits
by Mirai-chan
Summary: The reikai tantei eat some Makai fruit. There are sanity issues. Note-i upped the rating b/c i sorta swore.. i think it's more PG, but...
1. Delerium

A Basket of Fruits, By Mirai-chan  
  
Disclaimer: Yu Yu Hakusho does not belong to me. Hahahahaha!!!! Now you can't sue me!   
  
This is my first attempt at writing a fic, so, don't hurt me too bad. I'm sorry Kuwabara and Hiei lovers, but they shall face some humiliation. Oh yeah, Yusuke too. There will possibly some Koenma and Botan humiliation too, who knows if I'll get around to that or not. Ok, ON TO THE STORY!  
  
_________________________________________________  
Kurama sighed as he put the Makai fruit he was studying into the refrigerator. It was late and he needed sleep. So, Kurama walked wearily to his room and curled up in his covers for a nice sleep.   
(Author's note: ok people! We must take a moment to drool at Kurama's kawaii-ness! *drool* ok, on with the story!)  
  
The next day Yusuke, Kuwabara and Hiei were at Kurama's door. "Do you think Kurama is up yet?" Yusuke inquired as he knocked on the door. Just as soon as Yusuke had said that, Kurama opened the door.   
"Hello! Come in everyone! Sorry it took me so long to answer, I was in the middle of something." Kurama greeted as he ushered the Rekai Tantei into his home.  
"I'll be right back, I need to do something. Make yourselves at home." Kurama said before disappearing into another part of his house.  
  
Kuwabara grinned. "Wanna raid the fridge?" Yusuke and Hiei agreed. Kuwabara pulled out the Makai fruit, not knowing what it was. "Let's eat these!" Yusuke instantly agreed, but Hiei-chan was a little more cautious.   
"I think those fruits are from the Makai. I don't think we should eat them." Hiei said flatly. "You never know what they might do. Especially to filthy ningens." He added.  
"C'mon shrimp!" Kuwabara said as he shoved one into Hiei's mouth, right before he and Yusuke ate theirs.  
'These aren't too bad.' Hiei thought as he swallowed. Just then he started to feel funny...  
  
Just then, Kurama came back. And to his horror he saw Kuwabara, Yusuke and Hiei eating the Makai fruits.  
"Stop!" Kurama yelled with panic. "Those fruits cause-"Kurama was interrupted by Yusuke's sudden singing. "Delirium." Kurama sighed.   
________________________________  
Ok, so it's short. I wrote this quickly, and so it's short. I'll write chappie #2 soon! I got the idea for this fic last night while I was in the shower, and I'm supposed to be doing homework. Oh well! Love and kisses to Kurama! -Mirai-chan the neko 


	2. Mr FrizzleFace

Konnichiwa minna-san! In case you didn't know, I'm Mirai-chan! I'm a cat demon from the Makai. It's nice there except for all the evil and killing and such. Really, you should visit sometime if you haven't been. Hey! I can be your guide! You know, so you don't get killed or eaten or lost or something. Btw, someone noted in a review (thanks for the reviews! They are very helpful!) that Hiei should be referred to as Hiei-san instead of Hiei- chan. I know.. But he's so small and kawaii! I don't think I even MEANT to write Hiei-chan. habit, long story. Anyway, I know I'm not a very good writer yet, but I hope to become a tolerable one! Arigato! Hmmm.. There was something else I wanted to say. If I remember, I'll tell you later! (p.s. there were some slight alterations made in this chapter after a reviewer had a hentai thought...)  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own anything. Except myself. But I'm not in this story.  
  
_____________________________________________ Much to Kurama's horror, Yusuke had started singing, "I'm a little teapot" and was making the hand moments to go with it.  
  
"I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT, SHORT AND STOUT!" Yusuke yelled as loud as he possibly could.  
  
Kurama covered his ears with pain. Yusuke was not a good singer. He then had an idea! Rope.  
  
Kurama ran and got some rope out of a closet and quickly tied the insane Yusuke to a chair. "Good!" Kurama said as he looked at the struggling Yusuke. "Now maybe I should tie up Kuwabara."  
  
Kuwabara had put on a sombrero and was now break dancing in it. Where he got the sombrero, I do not know, but it was pink.  
  
Kurama managed to wrestle Kuwabara to the floor, and tied him up next to Yusuke. Now they had both started singing "I'm a little teapot"  
  
Kurama sighed. He wasn't sure what the cure for this was. He hoped it would wear off by itself, but you could never be sure. He then realized that Hiei was nowhere in sight.  
  
There was a loud crash from the kitchen. Kurama groaned. He then heard Hiei's voice shouting. Kurama ran to the kitchen.  
  
"No! My eyebrow belongs to me! Filthy fairies! Die, DIE, DIE!!!!" Hiei yelled as he attacked the stove with a ladle. "My Magical Ladle of Doom shall triumph over you! Bwahahaha!"  
  
Kurama stood where he was in shock as Hiei beat up the stove with his mother's ladle. "Hiei, uh, maybe you should calm down. There are no 'eyebrow-stealing fairies' here."  
  
Hiei turned around and faced Kurama. Hiei's eyes looked bloodshot and he was breathing hard. "Oh! Mr. Frizzle-Face!! Can you not see the fairies? They want my eyebrow! I shall not let them have it!" Hiei said in a really scary voice as he stroked his right eyebrow.  
  
"Mr. Frizzle-Face?" Kurama asked. "Hiei, what are you talking about?!" Kurama yelled in exasperation. This was getting old, fast.  
  
"Well, Mr. Frizzle-Face, The fairy army is attacking. They want my eyebrow." Hiei said as he wildly looked around. "As for your name, I only assumed, since your head looks like a giant eyebrow!!" Hiei then leapt at Kurama, trying to eat his eyebrow.  
  
"Hiei, stop this right now! I'm Kurama, remember?!" Kurama said as he dodged Hiei's sudden attack.  
  
Hiei gave Kurama (a.k.a. Mr. Frizzle-Face) the death stare before running off to somewhere else.  
  
Kurama started to look for Hiei. His search for the little fire youkai led him to the living room. Hiei wasn't there, but nobody else was either! Kuwabara and Yusuke had gotten loose.  
  
Kurama yelled with frustration. This was getting annoying.  
  
At that moment, Kuwabara and Yusuke came out of Shiori's room. Kuwabara was wearing one of Shiori's dresses (it was blue), a pair of her high heel shoes (red), and a pink scarf around his neck. In his hair he had a purple ribbon, which was tied into a messy bow. He was wearing makeup.  
  
Yusuke was dressed similarly. He was wearing a purple blouse, a green skirt, white shoes, and a silver belt. He had makeup on too. On Yusuke's head was. Kurama's boxers?! They were singing.  
  
"I'm not a girl! Not yet a woman!" they screamed. The sight was enough to give anyone nightmares for years.  
  
Ok, I know the thought of Kuwabara and Yusuke in drag is enough to give most of us nightmares. Gomen nasai. I will be hurt by Tanaka (my friend and kitsune partner) for writing this. I haven't told her about it yet, so I'm safe for now. I bet she won't like Kurama going though this kind of thing, and I don't like to see Kurama like this either, but it's all for the fanfic's sake! I swear! Ok, I'm going to do my homework now. I have a lot. I'm stalling by writing this. Since you are reading this, I might as well tell you what I need to do! I need to complete my short story for class that's due Monday. (I am only on the third page!) I need to write a summary thingy, and I need to draw a picture. I need to come up with an oral report for Spanish class. (Btw, My Spanish will make people cry. Yes, I AM that bad!) And I need to do math. ARGH! I only have today and Sunday to do it all. I'm going to go to my friend Sarah's house tomorrow and veg out on anime. =^-^= Love and kisses to Kurama! - Mirai-chan the neko. 


	3. Yusuke is Karasu?

Ok! Here's chappie #3! I've been wondering how long this fic will take to write. Ok, as some people may have noticed, I changed Hiei's new name for Kurama from Mr. Muffin, to Mr. FrizzleFace. There was a reason for this. That reason was b/c I asked someone to read my story (it was someone off of neopets) and they sorta took Hiei Trying to eat 'Mr. Muffin's' head as something...*cough* wow. Okaaaaay.. So anyway, it haunted me and I couldn't stand it anymore. I changed it. Btw, whoever that was, I forgot your s/n. ^- ^' Baka me.  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own it, although I am madly in love with Kurama, and he loves me too!!!. *catches fire* Sorry Tanaka.. *coughs up a puff of smoke* ___________________________________________________  
  
"Oh my gods!" Kurama screamed at the sight of Kuwabara and Yusuke. This couldn't be happening.  
  
Kurama decided he couldn't do this without help. Since Keiko was out of town with her parents, and there weren't very many people who knew about the three worlds, he had to call Botan and Koenma. Of course he didn't expect Koenma to come, being so busy and all, but, that's ok.  
  
Kurama walked over to the phone and dialed Koenma's office number. Botan picked up the phone.  
  
"Hello, Koenma's office." Botan said in a bored voice, like she had done this all day long. "Hello. This is Kurama." Kurama simply stated. "Hi Kurama!" Botan said, her interest was sparked. She had been sitting in Koenma's office all day answering phone calls. This wasn't usual of course; she was only doing it because some of the onis were out... uh, sick.  
  
"I need your help, badly." Kurama said exhaustedly. "Okay, but what do you need?" Botan asked. "I need help controlling Hiei, Yusuke and Kuwabara. Kurama replied. "Uh, okay. I'll bring Koenma too. He's having a nervous breakdown right now. He could use some time off." Botan said cheerily. "I don't know if it would be exactly relaxing for Koenma.." Kurama muttered. "What was that Kurama?" Botan asked "Oh, nothing." Kurama quickly said. "Okay. There's something I need to ask you." Botan said. "What?" "Is someone singing Britney Spears songs? I keep hearing someone in the background of our conversation singing 'I'm not a girl, not yet a woman" Botan said with confusion.  
  
Kurama didn't respond. He hung up, knowing that if Botan and Koenma knew the real crisis, at hand, they most likely wouldn't come.  
  
Just then, something black zipped by. The black something that zipped by was Hiei.  
  
Hiei had run into the bathroom.  
  
Kurama followed him, knowing Hiei could do more damage to the house than Kuwabara and Yusuke could.  
  
When Kurama arrived at the bathroom, he saw Hiei with tweezers, plucking out his left eyebrow.  
  
"What are you doing?!" Kurama yelled. "Hiei, Control yourself!"  
  
Hiei pretended not to hear. He went on plucking his left eyebrow.  
  
"Hiei!" Kurama Yelled.  
  
"Mr. FrizzleFace!!" Hiei yelled in return. Kurama sweatdropped.  
  
"Hiei, what are you doing?! I thought you had, err, an attachment to your. eyebrow." Kurama asked cautiously. He knew that Hiei might become uncontrollably violent and homicidal if Kurama said the wrong thing.  
  
"My left eyebrow kept arguing with my right one, so I had to silence them. It was all the left eyebrow's fault. He was jealous of Fred's superiority, so I killed him." Hiei answered in a matter-of-fact kind of voice.  
  
".." Kurama was silent. Hiei's statement is the kind you don't really know how to respond to.  
  
"M- Mr. FrizzleFace.." Hiei started quietly and shyly.  
  
Kurama was getting really creeped out. (Wouldn't you?!)  
  
"Y-Yes Hiei?" Kurama asked fearfully. After all, there are all those HieixKurama fics out there! Kurama was asked out by guys more then normal.  
  
"I-I.." Hiei began again.  
  
"What is it Hiei?" Kurama asked, fearing what might come next.  
  
"I l-lo l-love.." Hiei stammered.  
  
Kurama looked at Hiei in horror. He prayed the next word wouldn't be 'You'.  
  
"Yes Hiei?" Kurama asked again, slightly backing away.  
  
"I-I l-love......" Hiei blushed. "SWEET SNOW!!!" Hiei yelled and broke down in sobs. Kurama let out a sigh of relief.  
  
Hiei started sobbing uncontrollably and curled into a shivering, shaking, sobbing ball on the floor.  
  
Kurama stared.  
  
Hiei sobbed.  
  
Kurama stared some more.  
  
Hiei began wailing.  
  
Kurama started backing away slowly.  
  
Hiei continued to sob and wail.  
  
A crash came from the kitchen. He then heard Kuwabara's voice yell "Crap, Damned napkins!"  
  
Kurama ran to the kitchen. The sight that lay before him was a terrible one. There was food all over the floor! And over by Kuwabara, was his refrigerator. The refrigerator however, was not in its normal 'upright' position that most refrigerators usually situate in. Kurama's refrigerator was knocked over. (Thus the aforementioned food all over the floor) Kurama ran over to where Kuwabara was standing with a giant sandwich next to the overturned refrigerator.  
  
"What happened to the refrigerator?!" Kurama yelled in exasperation.  
  
Kuwabara rolled his eyes while spilling parts of his giant sandwich onto the floor. "I was looking for a napkin." Kuwabara stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world.  
  
"Behind the refrigerator?" Kurama asked through clenched teeth.  
  
"Mmmhhhhmmm." Kuwabara said as he took another bite of his sandwich.  
  
This was too much for Kurama. He leapt at Kuwabara's throat, and surely would have strangled the big baka ningen to death, if the event that followed hadn't occurred.  
  
"Hello Kurama." A voice said from behind Kurama in an attempt to sound sexy and alluring. "It's me, Karasu."  
  
Kurama let go of Kuwabara and screamed. Kuwabara dropped to the floor and began to sing 'the itsy bitsy spider' with hand movements to go with it.  
  
Kurama whipped around to see Yusuke, wearing a black wig with long tresses that he got from who knows where, and a scarf around his mouth, serving as a mask.  
  
Kurama was horrified and relieved at the same time. He was horrified at the thought of Karasu in his house, but he was glad it was only Yusuke.  
  
"I am Karasu, your one and only love!!!" Yusuke screamed as he ran at Kurama, trying to hug him.  
  
Kurama panicked and fled from the kitchen.  
  
"I AM KARASU!!!!" Yusuke yelled as he chased Kurama around the house.  
  
"Get away! Get away!!!" Kurama yelled in return, becoming hysterical.  
  
"LOVE ME!"  
  
"GET AWAY!"  
  
LOVE ME"  
  
LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!"  
  
"LOOOOOOOOOOVE ME!!!!"  
  
"NEVER!"  
  
"LOVE ME I SAY!"  
  
"GO AWAY!"  
  
"LISTEN TO MY WORDS!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
This went on for some time, and it was only interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell. Kurama went to answer it, and thankfully, Yusuke was distracted for the moment by a shiny object.  
  
"Come in! And HURRY!!!" Kurama yelled at Botan and teenage Koenma as he flung open the door. Botan and Koenma stared at Kurama in shock.  
  
"What's wrong Kurama?" Botan asked. Kurama wasn't usually this. well, loud and panicked. It seemed completely out of character for Kurama looking like a fox caught in the headlights.  
  
"It's terrible! Hiei is shaving his eyebrow, Kuwabara is destroying my mother's major appliances, and Yusuke..." Kurama stopped short when he realized Koenma was there too.  
  
"You got time off of work?!" Kurama asked in amazement.  
  
"Of course!" Koenma said shortly, like it was quite normal for him to be out of the office.  
  
"They forced him out." Botan whispered to Kurama. "He had a nervous breakdown and he started trying to kill the onis whenever they brought more paperwork. After he put 37 of them in the hospital with near fatal injuries, they figured he needed a break."  
  
Kurama sweatdropped.  
  
Koenma cleared his throat, obviously having heard what Botan had said.  
  
Botan sweatdropped.  
  
______________________________  
  
Yay! My longest chapter yet! The next one probably won't be as long. Remember to write a review! I could also use some ideas. In the next chapter I need Koenma and Botan to join in the insane fun. I know how they are going to eat the fruit, but I don't know what they should do. Btw, I think Koenma and Botan is a PERFECT couple! Like me a Kurama! *is mobbed by Kurama's many fans* BWAHAHAHA!!! HE'S MIIIIINE!!!! *knows I just lost 99.9% of my readers* HE'S MIIIIIINE!!!!!!!! *catches fire* Darn it tan-chan! Stop that!!! *coughs up more smoke and collapses on the floor* *receives a smug look from Tan-chan* *is a dead neko* ^ ^ = x.x = -  
  
Love and kisses to Kurama! -Mirai-chan the neko 


	4. Botan's True love?

Yay! As I am writing this, I have 11 reviews!!!!! *sob* I never thought I'd have this many!!! Isn't this sad? I'm celebrating 11 reviews. -_- "*pulls out the confetti* WEEE! CONFETTI-RIFFIC! *throws confetti all over the place* *chants* confetti, confetti, Confetti, Confetti, CONFETTI!!! CONFETTI!!!! *spins around in the computer chair* WEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! This chappie might not turn out very good. I don't know where the heck I'm going with this story, and hopefully I'll have that figured out before chapter 5. The refrigerator thing in the last chapter was sort of. well, Tan-chan gets it anyway. I think I'm going to write more fanfics. I have a couple of ideas. but, I must finish this one first. Oh yeah! Here today with me, I have *MARCO*, the evil piece of burnt, electrocuted toilet paper, with a hole through the middle of him! ^-^ He's going to do the disclaimer today! Yay!  
  
*MARCO*: She doesn't own anything except me.  
  
Good job *MARCO*.  
  
*MARCO*: *eats things*  
  
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-  
  
Just then, Hiei ran over to them.  
  
"Hello Hiei!" Botan greeted cheerfully.  
  
Hiei stared at Botan. Botan was getting creeped out.  
  
"Mommy?" Hiei asked with big, innocent eyes.  
  
(A/N: KAWAII!!!!!!! I think Hiei misses his real mommy... *starts sobbing* It's so sweet!!!)  
  
"Uh, no Hiei, I'm not your mommy." Botan replied a bit nervously. 'Why is Hiei acting so weird?' Botan thought to herself.  
  
Hiei burst into tears and ran off crying. Botan wasn't sure what to do.  
  
"Kurama.." Koenma said with confusion. "Was it just me, or did Hiei have only one eyebrow."  
  
Kurama sweatdropped. "Well, you see, it all started when-" Kurama was cut off however, by the sound of something breaking. And it sounded like glass.  
  
"I'll be right back!" Kurama called as he ran into his room, where the crash had come from. Koenma and Botan shrugged. (*MARCO* smiles. He likes destruction.)  
  
Botan and Koenma heard singing from the kitchen. They decided to see what was happening in there. They walked into the kitchen, and saw the overturned refrigerator with Kuwabara sitting next to it, (still) singing the itsy bitsy spider with hand motions.  
  
Koenma rushed over to Kuwabara. "Hey! I know that song!" Koenma exclaimed and sat down next to Kuwabara and imitated him.  
  
"The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout" Koenma and Kuwabara sang in unison.  
  
"Down came the rain and washed the spider out!"  
  
"Then came the sun and dried up all the rain!"  
  
"And the itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again!" they finished.  
  
Koenma would have sung it with Kuwabara a second time, but Botan suggested that they help clean up some of the food. Koenma sighed. He liked the itsy bitsy spider song, and the part where the sun came out always brought up emotions, but he agreed that they should help and began cleaning up the food too.  
  
"Hey, I'm kind of hungry." Botan said, holding up two of the Makai fruits.  
  
"Me too." Koenma decided, taking a fruit from Botan. And they both took a bite right as Kurama was walking in, carrying an enraged Hiei by the collar.  
  
"Stop!" Kurama called, but it was too late.  
  
Botan and Koenma began to feel odd.  
  
Koenma turned to Botan. "I love you!" Koenma announced.  
  
Just then Yusuke/Karasu walked in and glomped onto Kurama, making him drop Hiei. Hiei sped off into another room while making race car noises. Kurama screamed.  
  
"I am the almighty Karasu!!!!! Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha *breath* hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha!!!!!!!!!!!! !" Yusuke yelled as he snuggled Kurama.  
  
Botan's eyes went all dreamy at the sight of Karasu/Yusuke.  
  
"I love you Karasu! I always have loved you!" Botan announced.  
  
"Really?" Yusuke/Karasu asked, suddenly stopping snuggling with the horrified and repelled kitsune.  
  
Botan nodded.  
  
"Cool." Karasu said, shrugging his shoulders.  
  
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! MY LOOOOOVE!!!" Koenma shouted with angst.  
  
"Would singing the itsy bitsy spider help you feel better?" Kuwabara asked Koenma.  
  
Koenma nodded.  
  
"The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout." Koenma and Kuwabara sang with big dopey grins on their faces.  
  
"GRAPE FLAVORED HAM!" Koenma suddenly yelled.  
  
Everyone looked at Koenma oddly.  
  
"What?" Koenma asked while looking around.  
  
"..." everyone was silent.  
  
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-  
  
Hehehe. Sorry everybody. That was shorter then I thought it would be. It also wasn't that funny. I'm sorta running low on ideas! My big sack o' ideas is running out. *holds up a burlap bag that is almost empty. It has the words, 'Big Sack o' Ideas' written on it in blue paint.* So, I could use some ideas! x.x *MARCO* isn't much help. All he does is eat and kill. Damn him.  
  
*MARCO*: Hey!  
  
That's why I called the cops!!!  
  
Policeman: C'mon Mr. Toilet Paper Dude! *handcuffs *MARCO**  
  
*MARCO*: Nooooo!!!!!!!!!! NOT AGAIN!!!!  
  
Policeman: It's the electric chair for you! This'll be what, the third time?  
  
*MARCO*: yeah. *sigh*  
  
Okaaaay... Riiiiiight... Next time I think I'll have Kurama here to do the disclaimer.. *grins*  
  
Remember to review!!!!!! See you later! Love and kisses to Kurama. -Mirai- chan the neko.  
  
*MARCO*: Hey! What about me?! 


	5. Hiei's new home and tight, short dresses

*is sitting in a chair reading a newspaper from Tennessee* Article: 'A piece of toilet paper who goes by the name of *MARCO* escaped today while he was in the electric chair for the third time. It has been reported that he has eaten 12 police officers, 32 farmers, 6 chickens, 98 of Santa's elves, and a boy named Susan who was wearing gold basketball shorts. *MARCO* is reportedly on the loose. He is a burnt, electrocuted piece of toilet paper; with a hole right though him.'  
  
Wow. He escaped. Damn. How does he keep doing that? And why do they keep taking him to Tennessee? O.o  
  
Kurama: Mirai, tell me why I'm here again?  
  
Because you love me so much! *glomps onto Kurama*  
  
Kurama: *looks uncomfortable*  
  
**MARCO* walks in* "HEY! WHY DID YOU SEND ME TO JAIL?!"  
  
Kurama: What is THAT?! O.o  
  
*I let go of Kurama* Oh, that? He's just *MARCO*. He's kinda evil, and he eats people, but I created him, so now he keeps coming back to haunt me.  
  
Kurama: Oh.  
  
*MARCO*: Grrrrrrr... I also blame you that Kate doesn't love me!  
  
*laughs* don't be silly *MARCO*! Kate doesn't love you because you scare her..deeply.  
  
Kurama: And exactly HOW did *MARCO* come to life.?  
  
Well, I was playing a nice game of marco polo in the pool with my friend Kate. She got out and went to the bathroom, and when she came back I asked her where she went. She told me she went to the moon. I asked her why she had toilet paper stuck to her shoe, and she replied that the man in the moon put it there. I was all like 'Riiiiight...' and she got back in the pool. I then told her that there was toilet paper in the pool now, and she told me it was over there on the roof. So I went and I named the toilet paper. And this freak is what became of it. *points at *MARCO**  
  
Kurama: *backs away slowly*  
  
=^_____^=  
  
*MARCO*: Grrrrrrr... *tries to eat Kurama*  
  
No! *I inflict pain upon *MARCO**  
  
Kurama: O.o  
  
Kurama! Now you need to do the disclaimer so I can get on with the fic!!!  
  
Kurama: *sigh* Mirai doesn't own anything except *MARCO*.  
  
*glomps onto Kurama*  
  
***1 ½ hours later.***  
  
Kurama: Mirai, aren't you going to start the fic?  
  
Uhhh.. Hehehe, I forgot what to write. ^-^' Baka me.  
  
Kurama: *sweatdrops*  
  
I promise! I'll start right now!  
  
Kurama: May I be allowed to go home?  
  
No.  
  
Kurama: *sigh*  
  
*hugs him*  
  
**MARCO* has decided to become a pyromaniac and is burning things, such as a sweet little old lady, a family from Tennessee, a dog, the lady walking the dog, a plane that's in flight, etc.*  
  
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-  
  
Everyone stared at Koenma for a few minutes, y'know, just for the hell of it.  
  
Finally Kuwabara said something.  
  
"What about grape flavored ham?" Kuwabara asked.  
  
"Eh, it was nothing." Koenma replied.  
  
Kurama ran out of the room. He sat on the couch for a few minutes, trying to think things through.  
  
"What can I do to stop this?!" He called out.  
  
"SIMPLY PUT ON A TUTU AND DANCE!!!" a voice called out.  
  
"WHAT?!" Kurama called out in confusion.  
  
Kurama looked behind the couch to see Karasu/Yusuke sitting there giggling.  
  
"What?" Yusuke/Karasu asked as Kurama stared at him.  
  
Kurama shook his head and returned to the kitchen. Nobody was there anymore. NOT a good sign.  
  
The refrigerator had been up righted (and the door to the refrigerator was missing.) and there was a thumping sound coming from the freezer. The refrigerator started to shake.  
  
"Uh oh." Kurama thought. "This can't be good."  
  
Then, the freezer door opened to reveal Hiei sitting there, eating ice cream.  
  
Kurama sweatdropped.  
  
***Meanwhile.***  
  
Botan, Yusuke/Karasu, Koenma and Kuwabara are wandering around the house.  
  
"We must escape!" Yusuke/Karasu announced.  
  
"Uh, Ok! Let's go honey!" Botan said, motioning to the door.  
  
"No! Not yet! We must come up with a plot!" Yusuke/Karasu said.  
  
"Uhh, why?" Koenma asked.  
  
"Uhhhh.. Because it's more fun this way! Now we need somewhere dark and dank to plot our, uh, plot!" Yusuke/Karasu announced.  
  
Kuwabara pointed toward the basement. "How about there?"  
  
Everyone ran down into the basement.  
  
"Ooh! A basement!" Yusuke/Karasu exclaimed excitedly.  
  
(A/N: I don't actually know if Kurama has a basement, but it's there for the fic's sake!)  
  
(Kurama: I don't have a basement.)  
  
***back in the kitchen.***  
  
Hiei refuses to get out of the freezer.  
  
"Hiei, you have to come out. You can't stay in my freezer." Kurama said with irritation.  
  
"NO! I won't come out of my new home! But, if you REALLY want to. you can live in here too Mr. FrizzleFace." Hiei replied stubbornly.  
  
"No Hiei, I don't WANT to live there with you. And my name is KURAMA! K-U-R- A-M-A!!! Not Mr. FrizzleFace!" Kurama shouted at the tiny fire youkai.  
  
Hiei stared blankly at Kurama. Kurama sighed. This was not going very well.  
  
***In the basement.*** "Ok, so I say we should dress up as girls, and run screaming though the house! Then we should all free the tigers at the zoo!" Kuwabara decided.  
  
"..... Okay, you start, and we'll meet you there." Yusuke/Karasu encouraged.  
  
"Yay!" Kuwabara exclaimed as he donned a tight-fitting dress with a short tight skirt and ran up the stairs yelling.  
  
(A/N: EWW!!! *vomits many times* I'm soooooo! Sorry about that everybody! Now, back to the fic!)  
  
"Riiight." Yusuke/Karasu said as he watched Kuwabara run up the stairs in a dress.  
  
"Back to our plan!" Koenma exclaimed.  
  
"It's a PLOT." Yusuke/Karasu corrected.  
  
"Whatever." Koenma said indignantly.  
  
***Back in the kitchen***  
  
"COME OUT NOW!" Kurama yelled at Hiei.  
  
Hiei shook his head in refusal.  
  
Just then, Kuwabara ran through the house in a tight dress, while screaming loudly. Kuwabara ran into the kitchen, past the refrigerator, then out into the living room, and then out the front door. '...' Kurama stood there in shock.  
  
Hiei jumped out of the freezer and started clawing at his eyes.  
  
"NOOOOOO!!!" Hiei screamed as he clawed at his eyes. Then Hiei remembered his katana! He unsheathed it and would have jabbed both his eyes out if Kurama hadn't snatched his katana away from him.  
  
"Gimme gimme!" Hiei shouted as he jumped up and down, trying to get his katana.  
  
"No! You'll blind yourself if I give it back." Kurama said as he held the katana just above Hiei's reach.  
  
Hiei pouted.  
  
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_  
  
Okay, that's it for now! Wow! Two chapters in one day! *is proud* by the way, while you were reading this fic, *MARCO* escaped. People, I would recommend locking up your doors and windows! Oh yeah, Kurama, you may go home if you REALLY have to.. *give him the kawaii kitten eyes*  
  
Kurama: ^-^' thanks.  
  
But, Kurama, you won't leave me all alone, will you? *eyes go all big and teary*  
  
Kurama: -_-'  
  
Kurama, If you stay we can stay up all night eating junk food and watching movies!  
  
Kurama: *gives in* Fine. -_-  
  
Yay! *glomps Kurama*  
  
(He's so polite!)  
  
Well, actually, you can leave if ya want. I know your kaasan must expect you home.  
  
Kurama: Arigato.  
  
Love and kisses to Kurama! -Mirai-chan the neko  
  
Kurama: 'Love and kisses to Kurama'?  
  
Yup!  
  
Kurama: O.o *blush*  
  
(p.s. Arigato gozaimasu to Tan-chan and Black Dragon for some of the ideas in this fic!) 


	6. Shuffle shuffle!

It's been a while since I updated! Gomen nasai! I wasn't sure what to do about the plot that Yusuke, Botan and Koenma are coming up with. I think I have it figured out, but we'll see. Today I have a mime to do the disclaimer!  
  
Mime: ......  
  
Disclaimer, NOW!  
  
Mime: *mimes being trapped in a box*  
  
DAMN YOU MIME!  
  
Mime: *mimes the disclaimer*  
  
*I kill the mime*  
  
I HATE mimes! Anyway, I don't own YYH.  
  
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-  
  
*~*~In Kurama's basement*~*~  
  
"I have come up with a great plot!" Yusuke/Karasu announced gleefully.  
  
"Ooh! What is it Karasu, honey?" Botan asked while gazing lovingly at him.  
  
"Here it is, we run upstairs.." Yusuke/Karasu started as his voice lowered to a whisper.  
  
*~*~*~Kitchen*~*~*~  
  
"No." Kurama simply stated as he held the katana out of Hiei's reach.  
  
"YES!" Hiei shouted as he bounced up and down trying to get his katana.  
  
"No way." Kurama stated again.  
  
Hiei stopped jumping and pouted. Just then, someone yelled, Spirit Gun! And a loud crash was heard. Kurama groaned.  
  
*~*~what happened.*~*~  
  
Karasu/Yusuke, his new girlfriend Botan, and the unloved Koenma ran up from the basement.  
  
Yusuke/Karasu started throwing things at the ceiling, pretending they were bombs. After not getting anywhere for quite a while, he just said,  
  
"Screw this. SPIRIT GUN!" and shot a hole through Kurama's ceiling.  
  
Botan looked at her beloved 'Karasu' and asked him, "Spirit gun? Isn't that Yusuke's modus operandi?"  
  
"Huh?" Karasu/Yusuke asked.  
  
Botan sighed. "Isn't it Yusuke's technique?"  
  
"...... I stole it." Yusuke/Karasu replied.  
  
"Okay." Botan said skeptically.  
  
*~*~Back with present time.. ~*~*  
  
"Oh no!' Kurama exclaimed as he ran into the living room where everyone was, dropping Hiei's katana in the process.  
  
Hiei Smiled happily as he picked up the katana. He was just about to poke his eyes out, when he decided it wouldn't be fun if nobody was around to freak out about it. So, he sheathed his sword and walked into the living room behind Kurama.  
  
"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Yusuke/Karasu laughed manically as he rode on the back of Botan's oar, Botan seated in front of him and Koenma hanging on to the back.  
  
"No! They're escaping!" Kurama yelled as he watched his insane friends rise through a hole in the roof.  
  
Kurama heard them walk to the edge of the roof.  
  
"I had fun hangin' with ya Mr. FrizzleFace, but it's time for me to go!" Hiei said as he leaped up after the others.  
  
Kurama ran outside in hopes to intercept them when they jumped off of the roof. What he saw however, was Yusuke shuffling across the electric wires, followed by Botan, then Koenma, then Hiei.  
  
*~*~somewhere downtown.*~*~  
  
"FREE THE KITTIES!" Kuwabara screamed as he ran down the streets in a dress.  
  
"Mommy? Why is that boy dressed like that?" a little girl asked her mother.  
  
"The world may never know." Her mother said as she watched Kuwabara run down the street.  
  
*~*~Back with everyone else*~*~  
  
As Koenma shuffled across the telephone wires and down the street, he was getting shocked continually.  
  
"Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it." Koenma repeated as he shuffled.  
  
Koenma watched as his only love, Botan, shuffled gracefully. He wished she loved him too. It was hard being a demi-deity, and she had always been there for him. It was hard to see her with another man.  
  
"Karasu honey, would you like to go out to dinner with me tonight?" Botan chirped.  
  
"Um, okay, if I have to." Karasu/Yusuke answered surly.  
  
"Yay!" Botan exclaimed as she glomped onto Yusuke/Karasu.  
  
This was not a wise move. This caused them to fall into a pond that was in the park below. Koenma watched them fall in agony. He wished to help his love, but there wasn't much he could do. Hiei laughed.  
  
"Are you okay my love?" Koenma called down to Botan.  
  
"F*** You!" Botan yelled up at Koenma.  
  
Koenma sighed. "I wish I could be down there with my love." Koenma thought out loud.  
  
"Can do!" Hiei yelled as he slashed at the electric wires. Hiei make a sizzling sound as he was electrocuted and Koenma fell into the pond. Hiei fell a moment after, and as he landed in the pond he began shaking and twitching. Koenma pulled Hiei out of the pond.  
  
"You ok Hiei?" Koenma asked as he watched Hiei twitch.  
  
"I-I-I'm f-f-fine an-n-nd so is F-F-Fred!" Hiei replied as continued to twitch.  
  
"Fred?" Koenma asked.  
  
Hiei pointed to his right eyebrow.  
  
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_--_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-  
  
That's it for now. This chapter wasn't as funny as I hoped, but next chapter will be a barrel of laughs! I promise! Many people will burn. And Kuwabara will make it to the zoo!  
  
Love and kisses to Kurama!- Mirai-chan the neko 


	7. The tigers have escaped!

Ok, sorry it took me so horribly long to update! School and such. Anyway, I changed the rating for this fic as you may (or may not have) noticed. The reason for this was recently, my other fic Purple Penguin Madness was sorta taken off of the site b/c I accidentally rated it G. I SWEAR I MEANT TO CHANGE IT TO PG! I SWEAR! ^-^' and as I am writing this, I am suspended. -_- ' I have 3 days to go! Grrr..  
  
Today I have Kurama to do the disclaimer again! *points to the door*  
  
...........  
  
I said.TODAY I HAVE KURAMA TO DO THE DISCLAIMER!  
  
...........  
  
Hmm...  
  
Anyway, I'm watching charley and the chocolate factory. This statement is really dumb: "Nobody goes in there, and nobody comes out!" Well of course they can't come out if they haven't gone in! .  
  
Teenaged Koenma: *walks in* Hi. Kurama couldn't make it.  
  
*sigh* Too bad, I love my bishie boy! But you aren't exactly ugly either.. *eyes Koenma*  
  
Koenma: Err. Why thank you.  
  
*sigh* too bad Kurama and I are a couple.  
  
Koenma: You actually ARE a couple?! Like, Kurama likes you and you like Kurama and you go on dates and stuff?  
  
Well, erm, he may not know it yet, but yes!  
  
Koenma: -_-' Thought so.  
  
It is irrelevant. I must start the fic.  
  
Koenma: She doesn't own Yu Yu Hakusho.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The local people who had been nearby when Hiei was electrocuted had rushed over and were now asking annoying questions.  
  
"Are you ok?!" A middle aged woman asked Hiei.  
  
"How did it happen?!" A young man asked Koenma.  
  
"Do we need an ambulance?!" A slightly gray haired man asked.  
  
"Is this the medicine line?" A squinty old woman asked.  
  
Koenma knew this wouldn't turn out well, and obviously it didn't.  
  
"GET AWAY! YOU WANT FRED! DON'T YOU, YOU FILTHY FAIRIES! DIE!" Hiei shouted as he took out his 'Magical Ladle of Doom' and beat the poor people who were just trying to help.  
  
"Ahhh! You youngsters these days! Always trying to steal my orthopedic shoes!" the squinty old lady yelled as she was beaten.  
  
"MY ORTHEPEDIC SHOES!" Hiei yelled as he stole the old lady's shoes and lit her on fire.  
  
The old woman screamed as she was burn to ashes. Koenma looked sad.  
  
"Why did you do that Hiei?" Koenma asked.  
  
"She wanted Fred and I wanted her orthopedic shoes." Hiei replied as he removed his boots and put on the old lady's shoes.  
  
(A/N: Grr I love Hiei's boots! .)  
  
*~*~At the zoo.*~*~  
  
"WE MUST SAVE THE KITTIES!" Kuwabara screamed as he ran toward the tiger pen.  
  
"Stop! Young woman! Err, man?! . Stop young person!" a zoo worker yelled as he chased Kuwabara through the zoo.  
  
As Kuwabara arrived at the tiger pen, he took out his rei ken and sliced the cage open. The tigers dashed out and started their destruction. People were eaten, other animals were set loose (all of the feline nature) and ice cream cones were dropped. Kuwabara had jumped on top of a tiger and was now being carried out of the zoo.  
  
*~*~Somewhere near the park*~*~  
  
Kurama nervously looked at his watch and tapped his toe as he waited for the little crosswalk signal to change so he could cross. Damn his good manners. If he was Yusuke or any other member of the Tantei, he could j- walk, but no, his human mother had to teach him manners. Kurama sighed. As the signal, err, signaled he could cross, Kurama dashed across the intersection just to be at another crosswalk. This was getting frustrating.  
  
*~*~At the park*~*~  
  
People were running around screaming as they were set on fire by the insane little fire demon.  
  
Just then Koenma spotted some toddlers playing in the sandbox. He smiled hugely and turned into his usual chibi form and walked over to them.  
  
"Konnichiwa. I'm Koenma-sama!" Koenma greeted as he bowed to the other toddlers.  
  
"Hi Koenma-sama!" a little girl with big blue eyes and blond hair greeted friendly. "I'm Megumi Ito!" She added with a shy smile.  
  
"Hi Megumi-san." Koenma said as he blushed.  
  
"And I'm Kenji Kono!" A little boy said as he glared at Koenma and took Megumi's hand in his own.  
  
Koenma and Kenji glared at each other.  
  
"So, what do you do for a living?" Koenma asked Kenji as he chewed on his pacifier.  
  
"I'm only 3 you dope!" Kenji replied.  
  
"How old are you Koenma?" Megumi asked.  
  
"I am over 700 years old." Koenma replied with pride.  
  
The children stared wide-eyed at Koenma.  
  
"So, what do you do for a living?" Kenji asked Koenma.  
  
"I am the heir to Reikai." Koenma replied.  
  
"Oookaaaay.. So what does you family do? Mine owns a grocery store!" Kenji inquired and stated.  
  
Koenma grinned. "My dad is the ruler of Reikai." Koenma exclaimed.  
  
This was frightening the little kids so they bust into tears and ran off to find their mothers.  
  
Koenma sighed. Nobody loved him!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Ok! That's it for now! Please R+R as always! Next time I think I'll have Botan here with me!  
  
Koenma: Botan-chan?! *eyes go all dreamy-like*  
  
Yeah. Love and Kisses to Kurama! -Mirai-chan the neko 


	8. Chapter 8 has no title

Hi! I've been a bit busy, and inspiration hasn't struck me in a while. So here I am, trying to update. I have a few ideas, so MAY THE INSPIRATION SQUIRRELS GIVE ME STREANGTH!  
  
Botan: *flies over* She doesn't own YYH, or the Jehovah Witnesses. (Please, everyone, don't be offended, they just don't go away...)  
  
*~*Somewhere near the park.*~*  
  
Kurama tapped his foot in annoyance. He was stuck at the 78th crosswalk of the day. This was taking FOREVER! He had considered taking a cab, but when he got a cab to pull over, the driver smiled at him in a creepy sort of way, so he decided against the idea. FINALLY! The signal said he could cross.  
  
*~*~The park*~*~  
  
Koenma was sitting somewhere spying on 'Karasu' and Botan, and Hiei was setting things on fire (i.e. the orthopedic shoes, some trees, bushes, children.etc.)  
  
Suddenly, three women dressed in old fashioned clothes walked briskly up to Hiei. As they drew near, they whipped out black books with crosses on them. Hiei stopped burning things for a second, and he looked up at them.  
  
"Hello young man! We are the Jehovah Witnesses from the church of Christ! We think you need to convert!" One of them said sternly. Hiei looked back at them in confusion.  
  
"What's a Jehovah witnesses?" Hiei wanted to know. "And what's a Christ?"  
  
The Jehovah witnesses stared back in horror. Finally, one of them yelled something. "HE HAS MUCH EVIL WITHIN! WE MUST PURIFY!" they then began to throw holy water upon the tiny fire youkai. Hiei began to scream and writhe in pain. This stuff burned!  
  
"There must be a demon within him!" another one of them yelled. Hiei became confused at this.  
  
"But, I'm a fire demon!" Hiei yelled at them.  
  
They shrieked in horror and threw more holy water upon Hiei. Hiei lit them on fire. They died. Hiei laughed and resumed burning things.  
  
*~*~Zoo*~*  
  
"I HAVE COMPLETED THE TASK OF SETTING FREE THE KITTIES!" Kuwabara screamed as he rode out of the zoo on a tiger, still wearing the dress. People screamed and ran in revulsion.  
  
~*~*The park.*~*~  
  
"Damn them." Koenma said quietly as he spied on Botan and 'Karasu' from behind a bush. He had changed back to teenaged form  
  
"Oh honey, I think we need to go somewhere on vacation. Somewhere romantic." Botan purred at her beloved. 'Karasu' shrugged.  
  
"Fine. Where?" He asked.  
  
"Hawaii!" Botan exclaimed excitedly. "And we can be all alone" she added.  
  
"Fine." 'Karasu' agreed.  
  
Botan bounced up and down happily. She didn't think Karasu would agree!  
  
"I'll round up the rest of the troops than." 'Karasu' said as he strode off. Botan sighed. She didn't want the others to come! Just then, Koenma jumped out of the bush and glomped Botan.  
  
"Eeew!" Botan shrieked as Koenma glomped her happily.  
  
"On this trip to the tropical islands of Hawaii, I shall woo you!" Koenma announced.  
  
Botan rolled her eyes "oh great." She said sarcastically.  
  
"You smell good." Koenma said as he held on to her.  
  
Botan shrieked again and pushed Koenma into a bush.  
  
Just than, Yusuke/Karasu walked over to Botan and Koenma. Yusuke/Karasu was accompanied by a skirt-wearing Kuwabara and a confused Hiei.  
  
"What's a Hawaii?" Hiei asked Botan.  
  
"It's a really romantic place." Botan responded while gazing at Karasu/Yusuke with little sparkles in her eyes.  
  
Hiei stared at her. "Oh."  
  
"Let's take a cab to the airport." Karasu/Yusuke suggested.  
  
So the whole little gang hiked over to the street and got in a cab. They drove to the airport (and on the way there they passed a confused Kurama). They than targeted a sweet little family with a mother, a father, and three children. Hiei ran up and took their plane tickets without them even noticing. BWAHAHAHA!  
  
"So, what's our gate number?" Botan asked.  
  
Hiei looked at the tickets. "500,222,220,001 A."  
  
"WHAT?!" Everyone else asked.  
  
Hiei Turned the ticket over. "Oh! Excuse me, I was reading it upside-down. The gate number is 20 A."  
  
So everyone walked to Gate 20 A.  
  
When they were waiting to board, Hiei noticed a little boy staring at him.  
  
"A FAIRY! AN EVIL, EYEBROW STEALING FAIRY!" Hiei Screamed at the child.  
  
The little boy stared back open-mouthed in horror.  
  
"I SHALL DEAFEAT YOU!" Hiei screamed. Then, he pulled out some tweezers and leapt at the boy. They both tumbled over and when Hiei let the little boy get up 5 minutes later, the boy was missing both his eyebrows.  
  
"SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU CHALLENGE FRED?!" Hiei said as he laughed insanely and stroked his eyebrow with his index finger.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Yay! Another not funny chappie! I know it took a long time to update. Sorry! Well, I suppose it doesn't matter that much since nobody reads this story. -_-'  
  
I got the Jehovah Witnesses idea because they wouldn't leave my friend alone for 2 weeks. Funny. Bai bai! R+R! 


	9. Hiei meets Sam

Well, I bet you all thought I died or something like that! (That is actually a plausible assumption since I'm friends with BD.) I'll try to wrap this up within a chapter or two. I'm really tired of this fic. I want to write a different fic, but I can't until I finish this one. *is determined* I'd like some ideas to add to this fic. Please, don't be offended if I don't use your idea, or if I change it around a bit. Arigato!  
  
I don't own YYH.  
  
@-*-@-*-@-*-@-*-@  
  
As Kuwabara was watching Hiei rabidly attack the little boy, he saw something shiny on the ground. He bent down to pick it up. It was actually something not shiny. It was someone's cell phone. Kuwabara is just stupid that way.  
  
"What's that?" Koenma asked.  
  
"I can't believe I found a cell phone! Awesome!" Kuwabara exclaimed while picking it up.  
  
"So what is it?" Koenma asked again.  
  
Kuwabara ignored the question and dialed the first number he could think of, which was Kurama's cell phone. How lucky.  
  
"Hello?" Kurama answered.  
  
"HI!" Kuwabara shouted. A nearby elderly man gave Kuwabara a dirty look.  
  
"Kuwabara?!" Kurama exclaimed.  
  
"Yeah, it's me."  
  
"Where are you?"  
  
"I'm at the airport! We're going to Hawaii!"  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
"Anyway, I was going to play a prank on you! Okay, here it goes: Is your refrigerator running?"  
  
"No, you broke it, you dimwitted oaf."  
  
"Oh."  
  
(Click)  
  
"Final boarding call for flight number 756, nonstop to Maui!" The loudspeaker boomed.  
  
"That's us!" Botan exclaimed while tugging excitedly on her beloved's arm.  
  
"Okay!" Yusuke answered as he started to walk onto the plane. Being Karasu was getting tiring. Who would've known that Botan was a rabid Karasu fan all along?  
  
Kuwabara pranced onto the plane, following Botan and her lover.  
  
Koenma sighed. It was going to be hard to break Botan and Karasu up. They looked so in love.  
  
"I DON'T WANT TO TRAVEL COACH!" Karasu/Yusuke yelled at Botan. "YOU CAN GO SIT IN THAT HELL-HOLE, BUT I'M NOT!"  
  
Tears sprang to Botan's eyes.  
  
Yusuke sighed and followed Botan to the back of the plane.  
  
Koenma noticed Hiei was chewing on someone again.  
  
"C'mon, Hiei." Koenma sighed as he dragged Hiei off an Airport worker and onto the plane.  
  
*~Somewhere near the airport.~*  
  
Kurama was running full speed toward the airport. He had enough money saved to buy a ticket. He just hoped he would make it in time.  
  
Cars swerved around Kurama and honked their horns as the kitsune forgot about the little thing we like to call 'Stop, Look, and Listen'.  
  
"You crazy wench!" Some guy shouted as he swerved off of the street, narrowly missing our favorite redhead and slamming into a telephone pole.  
  
"I'm a GUY!" Kurama shouted as he ran from the scene of the accident.  
  
Things were not going well today.  
  
As he reached the airport, he hurriedly purchased the last ticket for the flight and boarded the plane just in time. The only seat left was in first class, so he was separated from the others.  
  
~*With the rest of the freaks.*~  
  
"I WANT THE WINDOW SEAT!" Botan whined as she tried to convince 'Karasu' to give up his seat.  
  
"I get the window seat, because I have to put up with your ear-splitting whining all day long! I should at least be able to have the window!" Yusuke/Karasu argued back.  
  
Botan pouted, but remained silent.  
  
"Can I have some gum?" Hiei asked the lady next to him with innocent eyes that can only mean impending doom when it comes to Hiei.  
  
"Why, yes! Of course you can have some gum little boy!" The kindhearted woman answered as she handed Hiei a stick of bubble gum.  
  
Hiei grinned mischievously as he chewed half of the stick of gum.  
  
The woman didn't notice, since she had retreated to her romance novel after the plane took off.  
  
Hiei blew a bubble, and kept blowing it bigger and bigger.  
  
The woman sighed happily as she read her romance novel in peace.  
  
Hiei blew the bubble a bit bigger, and then tapped the nice lady on the shoulder.  
  
She looked over at the humongous bubble Hiei had blown and exclaimed, "Wow! That's a pretty big bubble!"  
  
Hiei then proceeded to pop the giant bubble on the woman's face and hair.  
  
"MMPH!" She screamed through the gum that coated her head.  
  
Hiei chuckled.  
  
~* In first class.*~  
  
"Would you like some caviar, sir?" The steward guy asked Kurama.  
  
"No thank you." Kurama refused. He had tried to go find his delirious friends twice, but both times the stewards ushered him back to his seat. This was going to be a long plane ride.  
  
~*Back with everyone else*~  
  
Everything had settled down a bit. Botan was reading a magazine, Kuwabara was reading a book about kitties, Yusuke was brushing his wig, Koenma was trying to devise some romantic plots to get Botan to fall in love with him, and Hiei was trying to pull gum out of his gravity defying hair.  
  
The nice woman who had been sitting next to Hiei had asked to move, so she had switched seats with some incredibly sweaty, 300 pound man in a sailor fuku, who was eating a large cheeseburger.  
  
Hiei stared at the large man.  
  
The large man put down his cheeseburger and pulled out some fries, a milkshake, a pound of fried bacon, and a piece of cheese.  
  
Hiei stared wide-eyed at the man, as he ravenously ate the food. The man noticed Hiei was staring, and so he put down his food, wiped his hands on his sailor fuku, and extended his greasy hand to Hiei.  
  
"I'm Sam. I'm from the United States. I was in Japan for a con. Like my outfit?"  
  
Hiei stared at the greasy hand and lit the guy's cheeseburger on fire.  
  
"NOOOO!" Sam screamed as he tried to put out the flaming meat patty. Sam didn't try to talk to the fire youkai again.  
  
@-*-@-*-@-*-@-*-@  
  
Well, that's it for now. ^_^' R+R! Bai!  
  
Love and kisses to Kurama! -Mirai-chan the neko 


	10. Captain Todd gets twitchy

Yay! I'm bored, so I'm continuing this fic! Enjoy!  
  
/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/  
  
Botan had fallen asleep on her darling boyfriend's shoulder.  
  
Yusuke/Karasu smiled at Botan's peaceful, smiling face. 'She's kinda cute like this.' He thought contentedly. He was about to lightly kiss her on the forehead, when he was interrupted by a booming voice saying "This is your captain speaking. My Name is Todd, and we have reached the cruising altitude of 30,000 feet. You may now turn on your electronics. You will have a meal choice of what appears to be pasta with an intriguing green sauce with chunks of bacon in it, or something that might have been chicken at one time."  
  
Karasu/Yusuke swore mentally. Why did the pilots have to talk so damn much?!  
  
Captain Todd's voice rang out across the plane again. "We will arrive in Hawaii in about 5 hours and 50 minutes if things go well. Please remain seated throughout the duration of our flight. "  
  
Everyone on the plane was annoyed by Todd's annoying, scratchy voice, but everyone assumed it was over. They were wrong.  
  
"Yeah, this is going to be a nice flight." Todd commented over the audio speakers.  
  
Then, there was silence.  
  
Koenma finally spoke. "Why do they think we need to know their whole life stories?!" He asked nobody in particular.  
  
Botan had woken up at the sound of Todd's voice. She sat up and rubbed her eyes sleepily.  
  
Todd's voice resounded throughout the airplane once again. "Folks, today I'm wearing a white shirt, and blue pants. I'm also wearing a nifty blue pilot hat."  
  
"NOBODY CARES!" Koenma yelled out with exasperation.  
  
"I feel I need to talk about my past. I was born on March 25th. My mother was 22. When my father first saw me his response was 'what the hell is that thing?!', and it was pretty much downhill from there..." Todd began.  
  
~*3 ½ hours later.*~  
  
"....and when I was 11 or so, I bought a pair of white socks from Walmart.." Todd continued rambling.  
  
Everyone on the plane had twitching left eyes by now, and there was a major aspirin shortage.  
  
Botan had an idea. 'Hey! Hiei!' she called over to Hiei.  
  
"What?" Hiei responded.  
  
"Don't you hate Todd's voice?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Well, I have a way to make it stop!"  
  
~*5 minutes later*~  
  
"Sir, a little boy wants to come into the cockpit and meet you." An attendant announced to Captain Todd.  
  
"Okay! Send the fella in!"  
  
Hiei walked into the cockpit.  
  
"Hello, what's your name, little boy?" Todd asked Hiei.  
  
"Hn. Golly gee mister Captain Todd, sir. My name is Hiei." Hiei replied in a flat voice. Botan had given him some words to say.  
  
"Well, Hiei, my boy! It's nice to meet you! Do you want to be a pilot when you grow up?" Todd asked.  
  
"Why, golly gee! Do I ever." Hiei replied with the same flat, expressionless voice.  
  
"Well come over and look at the controls!"  
  
Hiei stared blankly at Todd. He then proceeded to put the rest of his gum into his mouth and began to chew.  
  
"..."  
  
Hiei walked over to Todd and blew a giant bubble.  
  
"..."  
  
POP!  
  
Todd rolled around on the floor trying to get the gum off his face. "IT BURNS!" he screamed as he clawed at his face.  
  
Then co-pilot Jeff took over the plane's controls.  
  
Hiei left the cockpit, with Todd still screaming and twitching on the floor.  
  
Nobody on the plane was angry at Hiei, in fact they thanked him.  
  
~*in first class*~  
  
Kurama had fallen asleep. He missed all of Todd's long banter about nothing in particular.  
  
~*later...*~  
  
The plane landed safely, and everyone got off.  
  
Kurama ran around frantically trying to find his comrades. He spotted Kuwabara chasing a family with a coconut.  
  
"Kuwabara, stop!" Kurama called out to his dimwitted friend, who was still in a dress.  
  
Kuwabara looked over at Kurama. "Hello!" he greeted.  
  
Kurama ran over to Kuwabara. "Where is everyone else?"  
  
Kuwabara thought about it for a minute before yelling, "OWW! A thinking cramp!"  
  
Kurama sweat dropped.  
  
"Can you please help me find them?!" Kurama pleaded.  
  
Kuwabara pointed to the others, who were standing by the doors of the airport. Kurama and Kuwabara ran over to them.  
  
"I've finally found you!" Kurama cried with glee. 


	11. To the beach!

Yay! I'm going to update! I promised Tan-chan I would update this before I left for 3 weeks to visit my dad, so, here I am.  
  
I really want to finish this piece of crap, but I'm never in the mood. I promise it'll only be another chapter or two.  
  
I still don't own YYH, but I will once BD and I complete our master plan! BWAHAHAHAHA! FEAR THE DOOMY DOTS! *runs in circles*  
  
..__..__..__..__..  
  
The continually delirious freaks turned to face Kurama.  
  
"Fred is quite surprised you found us!" Hiei said in shock.  
  
"Well of course I did." Kurama stated. This whole business of chasing a demi-god, a ferry girl, a spirit detective who thinks he's Karasu, an ugly oaf in drag, and a fire demon who thinks his eyebrow can talk, while they're all under the influence of some mysterious Makai fruits is very tiring and tedious work.  
  
It was about this time that Hiei thought it would be fun to refer to himself in third person.  
  
"Hiei wants to go to the beach. He is very white underneath this cloak. Hiei does not remove the cloak often enough for him to become tan. Hiei shall first go buy a towel, and then he will command everyone to go to the beach with him." Hiei said and strode off to the gift shop that was very conveniently located 20 feet away.  
  
"Riiiight." Yusuke said as he watched Hiei emerge from the now burning gift shop with a black towel, a pair of big pink sunglasses with rhinestones on the frame, black sandals, and a stuffed gecko with "Thank you for visiting Hawaii!" written on it's belly.  
  
Everyone looked at the gecko with curiosity.  
  
"What?! Haven't you ever seen a stuffed gecko before?" Hiei burst out. "Fred insisted that Hiei should get it." Hiei added  
  
"Well, since we are all in Hawaii, I think we should enjoy ourselves as best be can. .even if you are all out of your minds." Kurama stated thoughtfully.  
  
Koenma eyed the stuffed gecko with envy. "I want a stuffed gecko too.." Koenma thought to himself.  
  
"Hiei loves you, Fred." Hiei said softly as he stroked his eyebrow.  
  
"Oh my god..." Koenma thought. "He truly is insane!"  
  
And so, the gang of freaks and Kurama took a cab to a beach. Kurama paid the cab driver, and walked down to the beach alongside his friends.  
  
"Wait! I don't have a swimsuit!" Koenma cried.  
  
Botan pulled a box out of her sleeve. "I got one for everyone!" She said as she lifted the lid to the box, revealing 5 swimsuits, four of them for men, and one for a woman.  
  
Botan pulled the women's suit out and handed the box to 'Karasu'. He selected a pair of black swimming trunks, and passed the box to Kuwabara, who proceeded to remove purple trunks from the box and pass the box to Koenma. Koenma carefully thought about it, quickly pulled out his selection and stuffed it in his pocket before anyone could see what he chose. Hiei pulled the last suit out of the box, which was a pair of green trunks.  
  
"Oh crap! Kurama, I didn't get you any. Tough luck." Botan said indifferently.  
  
"Oh, that's ok. I still have a little money left; I can go buy my suit at a store." Kurama said reassuringly.  
  
"You can have Hiei's." Hiei stated as he handed Kurama the green trunks. "They will not fit Hiei anyway."  
  
"Are you sure, Hiei?" Kurama asked.  
  
"Yep." Hiei replied.  
  
"But, what will you wear?" Kuwabara asked the small fire demon.  
  
"I'm going to go commando." Hiei simply stated.  
  
Everyone shuddered and walked into the bathrooms to change.  
  
Five minutes later, everyone emerged, wearing their suits.  
  
The 'mysterious' suit Koenma didn't want to show anybody before, turned out to be a Speedo with an American flag pattern.  
  
"LOOK AT ME!!!!!!" Koenma yelled as he ran down the beach.  
  
Hiei had been waiting outside while everyone changed. Here's what happened:  
  
"Look! Mommy! It's a midget!" Some little kid shouted while pointing at Hiei.  
  
"I..AM.NOT.A.MIDGET!!!" Hiei screamed. "JAOU ENSATSU KOKURYUU HA!!!!!!"  
  
*end recap*  
  
Kurama looked around. "Hiei, why is this half of the beach destroyed?" Kurama asked suspiciously.  
  
"HIEI WILL NOT TELL MR. FRIZZLEFACE! IT IS A SECRET! I'LL TAKE IT TO THE GRAVE!" Hiei yelled crazily.  
  
..__..__..__..__..  
  
Well, that's it for now. I'm bored, and I know you don't really want to read this, so I'll only have one more chapter! I promise!  
  
Things you might be able to expect next time: Nude Hiei, Koenma making friends with a crab, dolphin-y fun, and everyone's sanity comes back! Plus much, much more!  
  
Please review!  
  
Bai bai! 


End file.
